Often, after many years or decades of arguments mostly full of attack and counterattack, including every insensitive method known to humanity, one or both come to couple counselling disaffected and usually with a large amount of justifiable hopelessness, often hidden under a thin veil of not wanting to look like they are not trying.
Many come with a rational sense of: ‘if we can’t deal with this stuff ourselves, how the heck are you going to be able to help us?’. Unfortunately, in many cases they will be right, including when using HIC as a modality. However, teaching the basic principles of HIC in a couple setting, along with a few additional skills that are simple to learn and practice, at least the couple can develop a clear idea of what is required of each of them individually and both of them collectively if they are going to have a fighting chance at maintaining an effective, sensitive, mutually beneficial relationship