In order to show parts trained in early dependent stage childhood that things are different now because the body is bigger and more resourceful, the adult must be able to prove that they can get themselves out of harms way. This is essential if the internal intervention is going to be effective. If protective parts are going to be willing to allow various forms of expression that previously seemed anti-survival they will need proof of two things. One is that the adult in the present moment with awareness of associated sensitivity will be able to deal with the potential sadness that may be the end result of external criticism. They also need to know that the adult in the present moment has the resourcefulness, in all but actual survival situations to get the body out of harms way by doing ‘Stop or I’m leaving’ as a way to get out of the way of external criticism.
Find a willing participant (trigger person) who you feel safe with and who supports you in your desire to be able to protect yourself from people who for whatever reason make you feel uncomfortable. Their role is simply to be willing to behave in the way that is triggering to a part of you that usually doesn’t protect itself by leaving. However, this role is not trying to catch you out. It is trying to give you the opportunity to practise these skills until you get it to the point that you feel comfortable to do it.
Set yourself up with the framework that you are teaching parts who in early childhood context were trained to not be able to protect themselves from insensitivity. You are now showing those parts experientially that NOW you are able to get the body out of the line of fire, out of harms way. You can’t and don’t need to change the other person or their behaviour, rather simply to take yourself out of relationship for the times that they are doing insensitive behaviours.